Have you ever thought of how self-fulfilling prophecy affects your parenting? First we have to define self-fulfilling prophecy, because I have a suspicion that not too many parents have stopped to think about it. Which is too bad because it could change the outcome of many negative experiences for the better.
Self-fulfilling prophecy is a concept that suggests that you project the outcome of an event before it occurs, and then make it happen. Have you ever presumed that somebody didn’t like you so you put up a wall to make sure you wouldn’t get hurt. That wall put off the person who then had no choice but not to like you because you weren’t approachable. It’s not that you weren’t a nice person or that you didn’t have things in common.
Take the same scenario and challenge yourself to greet people you don’t know with openness and kindness. Now you are approachable and now you recognize that you have something in common with this person and can make the choice to strike up a conversation or not.
Another example is thinking I’m going to be so mad when I get home and see… You are projecting an outcome prior to the event happening and in the meantime you are planning your course of action which includes feeling the emotion of anger, which is a difficult emotion to let go of. When you get home it isn’t as bad as you thought…but you are already angry and overreact.
You are driving home to the same scenario. This time work on keeping an open mind, remembering this too shall pass, and how you can make this a learning situation. You aren’t starting angry. You can assess whats happened with a clear head. It changes the outcome of the event.
Self-fulfilling prophecy is a cycle which in our two examples started with, you have beliefs that influence our actions toward others, which impacts other beliefs about us, which causes others actions toward us, which reinforces our beliefs about ourselves.
Now that we have defined self-fulfilling prophecy do you see how it can affect your parenting?
How can you use this concept in your favor? Have you ever used an affirmation? An affirmation can be a belief which affects how we treat others, which impacts others beliefs in us, which causes other actions toward us, which then reinforces our belief or affirmation. Now you know that affirmations can work, you just have to believe in them!
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