Vlinder was created as a behavior modification game. I have three young boys and I was looking for a fun and innovative way to address behaviors that were unwanted. After networking with other parents and hearing similar stories I implemented a reward system to not only address specific behaviors but also manage hectic times throughout the day. Success was realized with a combination of setting clear boundaries, laying out reasonable expectations and rewarding positive change. It worked so well that I opened up shop. The response has been an inspiring experience for me as I hear other success stories and continue to watch Vlinder evolve. The following is how Vlinder helps to modify your child’s negative patterns using honesty as an example.
How and why are patterns created? They are created because they fill a need. Perhaps the need was to stay out of trouble. The lying or sneakiness may have met a short term goal. Once it works it becomes a repeat offense and the pattern is born.
Learning the value of honesty is a process that children learn over time. Usually, it doesn’t earn more than praise from parents and family members. It makes sense that our little ones resort to little white lies to avoid getting into trouble. Rewards are immediate and, in their world, worth it. Punishing this behavior shows them the cost of lying. I proffer that if punishing alone worked then, patterns could not be created. Consequences without alternative routes are only half the lesson. Taking the time to reward the positive patterns is just as important as setting firm boundaries.
Vlinder provides a tangible way for both parent and child to look at what is expected and reward positive behavior. It helps to set boundaries while keeping it positive and fun. Let’s face it, the negative behaviors stick out like a sore thumb compared to the positive behaviors we are looking for. These are the behaviors that need to be recognized and celebrated so that they can be repeated.
Utilize the blank spaces on the Vlinder Task Sheets to address the negative patterns that you see in your child. Good tasks for honesty are to fess up before lying, looking for alternative solutions or admitting guilt. These are just some examples. Be creative and remember change takes time.