Today I’m here to help you be more mindful the next time you are angry with your child and trying to give a lesson in the moment. The problem is that we are tunnel-visioned when we are angry and less rational. Why is that a problem? Your child is learning more than one lesson from you during this interaction.
First, they are learning how to communicate. They may not yell at you, but they may start yelling at their siblings to express their anger. They may point their finger, ignore what’s being said, shake their head, any number of mannerisms that you portray. Kids model what they see. If you want to raise a child who is respectful to loved ones, even during an argument, best to cool down before preceding with the lesson.
Second, they are learning about respect. My husband tells our sons they have to respect him because he is their father. In the same conversation, we teach them that respect is earned. It is a confusing message. I make every effort not to correct my husband in front of our children, so the only way that I can make sure that I am earning their respect in my conversations with them is to be sure that I am heard and then listen back.
Finally, they are learning about consistency. If you allow yourself the time to think about your course of action then you are allowing yourself time to be consistent with your parenting.
It’s easy to fly off the hook when you get angry and yell at your child for something they’ve done. I’m just asking for you to stop and think for a moment. You’re providing more than one lesson in the moments following an event than you may think. It’s worth a five-minute breather, to collect your thoughts, get a sip of water and then tackle the problem.
For more parenting tips or information on using positive reinforcement visit my website at www.breakthroughparenting.rocks!